See? I can be consistent...

Ah-Hah.


I decided to get in a little bit tonight, the night before Chemo, because I feel I would like to get a little bit in every day I've decided. Besides, I had a rather eventful day.


I discovered today that there is an entire world out there of people who enjoy talking, and who need to talk. It feels good to realize that you yourself can feel comfortable opening up and expressing what you feel, be it fears, joys, sorrows, or battles of your own. And listening to someone else open up and share what they feel is really like giving them a gift.


So, yes, I'm so very proud of myself for making friends.


Today I went into Meridian to receive another CT Scan, as my Doctor was a little concerned about some pain I was still experiencing in my abdomen (I really hope it's just residual inflammation from the last surgery... But we'll have to wait for results!), and I am finding the hospital atmosphere a lot more easy to face. Those chemicals they give you so that they can light up your insides are still nasty as anything, though... Bleeeeeaaaaachhhhh I'm still burping up bubbles of metallic Sprite. I really wish they would mix the concoction with something not so sweet. But, what can you do. There are probably worse ways to get the Chemicals down, I'm lucky.


I think what is very important to me at this moment is not feeling quite so isolated. I did go to a support group at my Clinic last Thursday, and it felt great to reach out and find others with my condition. Some were a lot worse off than I was, too. The camaraderie of all those involved was really a very interesting atmosphere. To be in a room with quite a few individuals who are battling this scary prospect opened up many doors to me. Everybody says just what they think, without any judgments passed. No one blames you for extreme emotions, mindless paranoia, or unexplainable sorrows.


And while going to receive my CT Scan, I found a friend in the most unlikely of places. A clerk in a sex shop today helped me by telling me her story of how she had a hysterectomy and a partial mastectomy due to cancer, all at age 25. And she is now 10 years cancer free! She also invited me to come back at any time, to talk to someone when I just needed someone to just sit and listen. It made me realize there are a wealth of people in this area to connect to, I don't have to sit at home in a little box, waiting for the storm to blow over! I can gain strength from the knowledge that people have dealt with this, continue to deal with this and live. And I will join the ranks of numerous cancer survivors not just world wide, but many of them that I probably pass on the street every day and not even realize the struggles they have won.


So.


My challenge to you is to look at your fellow man with a different perspective. Me, I would be the first to admit my pessimism. For years, I have been quite comfortable to just watch and observe all those around me, it has served me well as it is very comfortable.


But get out of your comfort zones! Find someone who desperately needs to share their story, and who will feel enriched by having heard yours. You will never know until you take that first step, and venture into entirely new areas with this adventurous conversation.


Be more connected to those around you, even dare to view the world around you with love. You may feel that everything around you is capsizing and not worth salvaging. But if we all begin to care more about each other, we can work together to make this a better place.


I, for one, am going to try and better my surroundings.